So, I’ve never blogged before but I’ve also never gone on a 4 week long road trip honeymoon before so there’s a first time for everything, right?
I’ve been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone more lately but I’ve only gotten so far as making some vague plans with a friend to start a dinner party business, figure out what 3 songs I want to cover with my potential new band and write for this. But that’s a start. Babysteps. I keep on reminding myself that life happens in smaller moments and waiting for one big one to happen is a bit silly because it may not ever come.
So, yes, babysteps. Tackling that messy section of our guest room, singing in public again, returning that wedding gift that we somehow put on our registry twice, cooking more to remind myself how much I love it and why I could and potentially should be doing it for a living…But then there’s that damn “should”. They pop up everywhere in our lives and half the time we don’t even notice we’re doing it- I should be going to yoga more, I should have cleaned out the fridge last week, I should have called my grandparents yesterday, I should look for a new job, etc, etc, etc. Mostly all this does is just make us feel bad about ourselves (negative self-talk as my wonderful therapist refers to it as) and who needs that?
2013 feels like a good year to me so I’m planning on should-ing myself less, actually doing things more instead of just talking about doing them and buying nothing that’s not a necessity. Scary but absolutely worth it to see where it goes. Plus doing something with someone else is always easier and there are lot of things I wouldn’t have done in the last three years if it wasn’t for Joe (insert gay seal joke here). Everything in moderation and I figure if I can stick with my 2009 New Years resolution of not eating until I’m uncomfortably full then I can totally do this. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself since that’s the only New Years Resolution I’ve ever stuck to. It’s a start, it’s terrifying (do you see a theme here?) but I’ll take it.